someone was like hey do a flower beard thing and i was like okay
I’m going back to Boston, I’m going to my mother’s house, I’m sleeping in my mother’s bed, I’m gonna eat my mother’s cooking and I’m done.
why do i keep laughing at the thought of female!spiderman…(spidergirl? spiderwoman?) getting caught without her mask on and the dude who catches her just goes on a rant about ‘fake geek girls’ and how ‘that costume isn’t even accurate oh my god’ and ‘comic-con was last week’
and her secret identity is saved because some dudebro in a batman t-shirt thinks he’s hot shit
I volunteered at an animal shelter yesterday and while I was hosing down the dozenth dirty dog kennel I thought to myself “why am I doing this without pay again?” and then I walked into the room with like 15 kittens in it and they all started meowing at me and I was like, yes, that’s why
omfg you suave little shit
that kid’s got more game than I do wtf
My roommate bought a pack of 24 rolls of toilet paper yesterday, in addition to the half dozen we already had, and stored all of them in the bathroom. And just let me tell you, there’s something incredibly calming and reassuring about looking next to you while you’re on the toilet and seeing 30 rolls of toilet paper sitting there. You get a feeling like, no matter how bad shit gets in there, you’re always going to make it out okay in the end.